


In the morning they leave

by Taste_of_Suburbia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst Dean Winchester, Cuddling & Snuggling, Exhaustion, Family, Friendship, Frustration, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, M/M, Malnourishment, Possessive Castiel, Possessive Gabriel, Protective Castiel, Protective Gabriel, Purgatory, Romance, Tragedy, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, saliva
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-25
Updated: 2012-11-25
Packaged: 2017-11-19 13:25:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel makes it his mission to rescue Dean and Castiel from Purgatory. There are... complications.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Set in an alternate Season 8. I’ve been wanting to write this sort of thing for a while, I am obsessed with Purgatory after all. Surprisingly, it was really difficult and painful to write, which was why it took me longer than expected. The title is from the novel ‘Roadside Picnic’.  
> Soundtrack: Saliva’s ‘Lackluster’

...  
 _Is it words that you didn’t say_  
 _Or is it something inside me_  
...

During the night, Castiel urges Dean to press his shivering body up against his own warm one. Dean is too freaking tired and too annoyingly cold to do much else than give in, and it’s also due to the fact that Cas literally pushes him down, albeit gently, into his lap. He finds to his pleasure that the angel is, surprisingly, warm; an equivalent to a furnace that constantly generates and spreads warmth, pumping it into anything else near, no matter the low temperature of the environment around the two of them. 

It’s been four days. Dean ate last night and because of that, he’s hungry again, starving actually, even more so then he was that afternoon. He doesn’t blame Cas, he doesn’t even blame himself for once. The angel found him raw meat last night and Dean ate it because of the horrible feeling that his stomach was trying to tear itself apart, but he had to swallow back a nausea as fierce as that hunger, and of course, it didn’t help anything that Castiel pretty much shoved the stuff down his throat. 

All he could think of was hell; fresh, bloody meat roasting on the racks around him, the smell suffocating and unbearable. He thought of carving designs into that meat and slicing slicing slicing and now all he had to do was shove it down his throat, but it made him feel even more sick inside. Seeing Cas’ approval and then satisfaction only made it worse, he wanted to throw it up but his throat and eyes would burn and his stomach would start to scream at him again, drowning out all reasonable thought. 

He knows Castiel pities him, hell, Dean pities him. He’s incredibly dead tired from walking from dawn to sunset, of finding only rare shelters where they could stop to rest, away from the prying and deadly eyes of those around them. He stumbled, tripped over rocks and fell flat on his face, there are bruises lining his arms and his bloodied knees are scabbing up. If things around them were relatively safe, Castiel would grant him a minute of peace before forcing him to walk again, but now more and more, as the creatures hiding stealthily around them recognize their scent, primarily Dean’s, the angel would merely lift Dean back up on his feet and push him forward, helping him to walk even though he hardly was able to with help. 

Now Dean groans and turns his pale face away from the moon shining harshly down on him, seeming to burn out his eyes, and he presses his face against Castiel’s now stained with dirt shirt and sleeps. His dreams are not kind to him. 

...  
...

Sometime during the next morning, very early, perhaps an hour before dawn, Dean can hear whispering voices very close to him. His face is no longer pressed against Castiel’s shirt, in fact, the angel is not anywhere near. After shaking out the mist in his head, and not doing such a good job at it, he notices his head is cushioned on Cas’ trench coat, which has been folded over several times to create a decent pillow. He blinks, breathes in the familiar scent of the angel and merely listens to the low voices around him. He’s still tired, he doubts he won’t ever not be here, though at least he feels slightly less sick than he did the night before. 

He can’t make out the voices no matter how much he tries; his head is swimming in a pile of thick muck and his stomach is rumbling again. He needs to eat and he moans out pathetically, his voice a raw mess, “Cas?”

The voices stop and footsteps are heard; when Dean looks up Cas is standing above him. He bends down and lays a hand on Dean’s knee, which is starting to throb viciously again. “Dean. I will try to bring you food again soon.”

He sits up slowly and sees another figure leaning against a nearby tree. It’s still too dark to figure out who he is, but he doesn’t even have to wonder for more than a second before Castiel speaks again, “Gabriel.” _He managed to cheat death and somehow have the nerve to find a portal and bring himself here._ Dean snorts at that, “How fantastic, now you’re trapped.”

“On the contrary, Deano, I’m not trapped at all.” Dean can practically see his wide ass grin in the dark, “I’m just waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

“Waiting for your angel to make his choice.”

“I already have,” Castiel shoots back and Dean looks up at him, suddenly very curious and very suspicious. He doesn’t understand why Gabriel is just standing around and talking to Cas when he should be getting them the hell out of here. He’s freaking done with Purgatory. 

“Cas,” Dean swallows back a sudden wave of nausea. “Lay back down,” Castiel pushes him and Dean relents, letting his head rest against the trench coat but still keeping a close watch on the shadow that is the archangel. He wishes he would move closer, he’s making him a tad bit too nervous, not like the archangel would care though. Castiel hovers over Dean nervously before standing back up again and facing Gabriel. Dean can feel a wave of anger wash over him, and it’s no secret that it’s coming from Cas and directed towards Gabriel. 

Dean’s still amazed that he managed to fake his own death and survive. Maybe in any other moment he’d be happy to see him, considering he did risk his life to do what Dean asked: stand up to his brother. He feels a certain amount of respect and appreciation towards Gabriel for this, but right now, he just really wants him to leave unless he’s planning on taking him and Cas out of here right freaking now. 

“You will take Dean out of here and I will stay.”

The human instantly sits up in a panic over the thought of losing the angel so soon again. There’s no way he can let it happen, he’d rather stay here for the rest of his life then let Cas down like that. “No! You can’t, I’m not leaving without Cas. Gabriel...”

“Relax, kiddo,” Gabriel butts in, stepping slightly out of the shadows. “The choice is as much yours as it is his.”

Castiel growls, it’s not loud but very noticeable in the silence engulfing all three of them, “You will take Dean. There is no other choice.”

“Wait a minute,” the human licks his incredibly chapped lips and winces as blood forms. Gabriel startles Dean by vanishing suddenly from his previous, what looked to be comfortable spot, and popping up again sitting right next to Dean. “Why can’t you just take both of us back?”

The archangel changes the subject upon Dean’s stomach rumbling again, “If I could give you food right now, I would. But being here limits what I’m able to conjure up.” He ruffles Dean’s hair and the human scoots away, annoyed at the gesture. Gabriel just shrugs and glances around them, probably keeping an eye out for unwanted intruders. 

“Answer the question, Gabriel,” he spits out, sick of talking and hearing his horrible voice. 

“I don’t have enough juice to bring the two of you back, and there’s also no possible way I could come back. I was damn lucky to find a portal and get it open this time.”

Dean knows he won’t budge; if Cas doesn’t make it out of here with him, he won’t make it out either. He will stand by the vow he silently made to himself when Castiel vanished on him, only hoping and somehow knowing that Cas would come back to him. Knowing the angel though, his commitment and bond to Dean, he will keep pushing and pushing Gabriel to take the human, and Dean will be pissed, so freaking pissed and worst of all, he won’t be able to do anything about it. Dean can now only hold by what Gabriel said: it’s as much his own choice as it is Cas’.

And he chooses to stay here, to die here, because he will never let Cas down again. 

“What about your choice, Gabriel?” He shrugs at Dean’s question, looks pissed for a minute when he snaps his fingers and realizes it was just on instinct, that he can’t really conjure up a lollipop here no matter how stressed he may be. He rolls his eyes and becomes very irritated, “You think I’m gonna put myself in that position? No way, big boy. You two make it on your own.”

“And it is clear, Gabriel,” Cas speaks, staring at Dean intently with fondness and a barely hidden anger now directed at Dean and not just Gabriel, “that we will never come to an agreement.”

“Well hurry up, I haven’t got all day here. When the portal closes, it closes for good, no guarantees that it’ll be back up and running again. In the next century anyway.” Dean shivers at those last words, he doesn’t think that he can last a century here. 

“I am aware of this,” Castiel says, cutting off his train of thought. There’s a slight hint of hopelessness in his voice, but he’s mainly just annoyed. “That is why you must take Dean...”

“No,” the human shakes his head vehemently, instantly regretting the movement since it makes his head throb and a splitting headache begin to form. “No freaking way, Gabriel. If I even see you coming towards me an inch, I will gank your ass.”

“Though not really in the state to do so are you, Deano?”

Dean growls and stares up at Cas, pleading for him to just go with Gabriel. He merely shakes his head firmly and Dean sighs a little. He’s right, there’s no way they can compromise. 

“Alright alright.” Gabriel suddenly stands up again, “Tell you what, I’ll do the whole eenie meenie minee moe thing, that’ll make this a helluva lot quicker.”

“Gabriel!” Both Dean and Castiel shout simultaneously, suddenly regretting it because who knows what could be lurking nearby. Dean can’t even describe how incredibly safe he feels with an angel _and_ archangel standing guard over him, but he still feels alone somehow, and vulnerable and uncomfortable and yes, still sick to his stomach because of the lack of food and the situation he’s been placed in by none other than the trickster himself, who just so happens to be an archangel that can’t even get the both of them out.  
So what good is he anyway?

“Fine. Just offering.” Gabriel backs down and leans against another tree, this one closer to Dean. He’s too tired to move around though, he lets his head rest down on Cas’ trench coat again. He drifts off after awhile, continued bouts of arguing filtering in and out of his hearing, their bodies in and out of his sight. He doesn’t really care anymore, he’s tired and he wishes that they would just stop shouting so maybe he can sleep this whole disaster away again. 

...  
...

In the morning they leave. It’s a pitiful sight: Castiel screaming out for Dean, too panicked to be angry at Gabriel in that moment, as the archangel forces him away from Purgatory without his consent and without giving the angel the chance to say goodbye. Not like he ever would. Dean sinks back against the tree, the very same one Gabriel had been leaning against not so very long ago, and just watches with heavy eyes, watches Gabriel force eye contact away from the human as he grabs Castiel’s shoulder and they dissipate without another word. Silence engulfs Dean, the merciless cold sinks back into his bones, its mission to go deep and penetrate every inch of him. 

He shivers and wraps the angel’s trench coat tighter around him. The trench coat, Cas left it behind. _I’m sure he’ll be missing even the ratty old thing its become._ Dean nearly chuckles, but it catches in his throat and he coughs roughly instead. At least the angel is with him in this way, leaving his smell behind in the coat and a parcel of his once beautiful warmth. 

Dean sighs and closes his eyes. He doesn’t regret a thing.


	2. Part Two

...  
 _I wish that we’d never gone this far_  
 _And I wish I could take it away_  
...

It’s barely afternoon when Dean opens his eyes and looks up to see someone he’d never thought he’d see again. He blinks a few times, tries to decide whether or not to chalk it up to hallucination when Gabriel bends down and places the palm of his hand on Dean’s forehead, as if proving to the human that he is real and Dean’s a complete idiot for thinking otherwise. He doesn’t say it though.

“You’re cold,” he shrugs off his jacket and wraps it around Dean, tucking it in tightly around him to prevent the cold from seeping in. Dean already has the trench coat but any extra warmth he can get is much appreciated. He doesn’t bother to shrug him off, what’s the use anyways? 

Gabriel sits back on his heels for a moment, seeming to be lost in thought before exclaiming, “Oh, Dean, you’re just breaking my heart here, kiddo,” and with that he pulls the human back against his chest, wrapping his arms around him. It’s actually a very nice, comfortable position, and Dean sags back and just wills himself to relax, despite the embarrassment struggling to form in the pit of his stomach. Gabriel’s warm breath tickles his ear and he chuckles when the human moves just a tiny bit closer, trying desperately to get closer to more warmth and security. It’s all too noticeable and far too cute to the archangel, who never imagined seeing a Winchester literally beg for something without using words. Since they never would use words, especially the pigheaded Dean Winchester. 

“Why’d you come back?” _How’d you come back when you said you couldn’t is the better question._

Gabriel shrugs nonchalantly, but Dean knows there must be a decent reason the archangel’s not disclosing. Then, he speaks, “No one should have to be alone here.”

Dean smiles a little, only a little since he’s confident Gabriel can’t see it. He stares at the woods around them, his eyes feeling heavy. Gabriel startles him by speaking again, “You can sleep if you want to, not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“How long you gonna stay?” Dean hopes he says something like ‘forever’. He’s not counting on it though.

“As long as it takes.”

There’s silence for a little while as he thinks about that. _As long as it takes for what? For me to shrivel up and die, fall asleep again and then when I wake up he’ll just be gone and I’ll be all alone again? At least Cas isn’t here, at least Cas is safe and sound and I’m so happy I know he’s okay. Thank you, Gabriel._

...  
...

The hunter wakes up with his head on fire and his mouth parched beyond belief. He’s starving, and he doesn’t expect to be getting food anytime soon, but barely a second later Gabriel positions him against him better and brings a hunk of raw meat before his eyes. Dean turns away and swallows, tries weakly to push the archangel away even though he wants his warmth and the sense of safety only an archangel could ever provide, more than anything. 

“Eat, Dean,” he commands. “You’ll feel better.”

“Really? I’ll feel better after eating that?”

Gabriel sighs, but doesn't push for the next few minutes or so. Dean feels really grateful and just a little bit guiltier than he wants to feel at this point, so he ends up giving in. “Give it to me. Just...” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, “Help me,” he regretfully admits. The archangel instantly breaks the meat up into small pieces and hands them to Dean one at a time. He can hardly hold them, his hands are shaking so hard from the cold. 

He gets the meat down, just like last time, amazingly, and he wants to give himself a huge pat on the back. Except for the fact that he’s pretty much too damn tired to do anything else but collapse back into Gabriel. He sees red eyes at the tree line not five feet away from them and tenses, his own eyes going wide as the panic starts to set in, making his heart beat fast, brutally accompanying the constant mind-numbing pain. 

The archangel’s hand splays out on his chest without hesitation, “They’re not gonna touch you, kiddo.” Gabriel growls, “They know better.” Dean relaxes even though Gabriel presses back against the tree further, he doesn’t want to be afraid of what that might mean. He’s tired of being afraid. 

“You should rest while you can.”

“Why?” Dean shoves his hand away, Gabriel doesn’t attempt to put it back. “Why the hell are you even here, what would give you reason to care?” He shouldn’t be talking by how much it hurts to talk, but as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, for it would ruin Dean Winchester forever, Gabriel’s voice is soothing and reminds him that he didn’t leave him to die. That he’s not alone in any of this. 

“Didn’t anyone give you the memo, that I did what I did for you? That maybe I learned to appreciate your company and actually missed you?”

“I doubt it.”

“Ah,” Gabriel responds, “but that’s because you don’t know me. I’ve still got a few surprises up my sleeve.”

Dean just shrugs, reveling in the sensation of the archangel’s warmth sinking into his tense, extremely cold skin. “Fine, so you defied all freaking odds and came back here to see me. What am I supposed to say to that?”

_Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a little gratitude, a sprinkle of appreciation, maybe admit that you like me, the same way you did such a long time ago, so then we can kiss and make up. Let’s just go for the kissing and making up part, actually._

Gabriel shrugs, “Say whatever you want.” Even though that isn’t what he means in the slightest. 

“I don’t want to be your pet,” Dean breathes. “I owe you, I know that,” his chest suddenly feels very very tight, and he squirms against Gabriel’s hold in uncertainty and slight embarrassment. “But,” he continues, I don’t...”

“Whoever said I wanted that, Deano?”

“You,” Dean whispers, “who you are, what you...”

Gabriel’s arms wrap around him and it stills him, there’s something incredibly intimate in the action, and no matter how hard Dean tries to fight against it, he can’t. He physically and emotionally can’t. 

“I want to go back home.” 

He never reveals his feelings, and even if Gabriel is inflicting some of his mojo on him, he really doesn’t care. He only cares about how sick and tired he is of trying to hide every single little thing, despite the fact that he should hide things from the trickster especially, because the chances are high that he will use those things against the Winchester. Dean always comes to regret anything and everything though, so why not put trust and faith in someone right now? Why not use Gabriel for that?

The archangel just stares at him gently, his arms wrapping themselves comfortably tighter around the human. “I know,” he replies in this melancholic tone that sets the human on edge. It almost makes his mood match the archangel’s more fully. Dean doesn’t care how weak he sounds or how vulnerable he looks or how utterly entirely unlike Dean Winchester he is being. Gabriel doesn’t seem to care about any of this, he isn’t laughing or prying. He’s just holding him like...

“Do you...” A wave of exhaustion suddenly overcomes Dean and he fights it, he fights it with every last breath he has in him. He doesn’t want to leave yet, he has so many things he still wants to ask, still wants to _say._

“Would you want me to, or would it freak you out?”

Dean doesn’t know how to answer that; his emotions are so jumbled at this point and his head is a flurry of pain and exhaustion. He doesn’t know what he wants, though he shouldn’t say that, because he supposes he does know. He supposes the time spent together here proves everything. Though it doesn’t really matter after all, he won’t live for another ten minutes probably. 

“I would want you to tell me the truth. I think it’d be better than dying to the sound of silence. Or thinking of all the stupid fucking mistakes I’ve made.”

“Maybe when you wake up again, I’ll whisper it in your ear.”

Dean laughs at that, and gets thrown into a brutal coughing fit. Gabriel holds him up for it and rubs his back soothingly so he can feel better, then positions Dean against him once more, though really, it’s more of Dean curling into the archangel like a weak little kitten. “See, you’re a coward too. Jus’ don’t want to admit it...” Gabriel kisses Dean then, probably to revel in the satisfaction of proving him wrong; it’s short but he can easily tell that it’d take his breath away if it had been just a little bit longer. “Gabe,” he gasps. Gabriel kisses him again, a little longer this time around, just how he wanted it. The kiss warms him completely, sends pleasurable shivers up Dean’s spine and he wishes, just goddamn wishes that this had been on a better day, at a better time. Then he realizes that if it was a different day it never would have happened, realizes that maybe this is the perfect moment; a moment where they can’t hold back their emotions and don’t really want to anyway. “I didn’t... shit, I can’t...”

Gabriel silences him with his eyes now; they are so beautiful and deep and Dean can see the entire world in them. He can see what Gabriel _wants,_ like he never has before. He can see what Gabriel wants more than anything, the reason why he came back against all odds. Suddenly, Dean wants everything, wants every single part of him until he suffocates and only begs for more. He never thought being in this place would make him realize it, but he wants to love Gabriel and he wants to be loved by Gabriel so fucking badly the pressure of it burns inside of him, unrelenting, unavoidable. 

“Just think about it, Dean. Of the life we’ll have together.”

He doesn’t have enough time to think about that sentence. Gabriel is the very last thing he remembers, the very last thing he _feels_ before Dean fades, enclosed tightly in Gabriel’s arms, not alone and so freaking happy about it and the fact he might be in love, that he doesn’t fight the sleep that mysteriously feels like death. He doesn’t break away from Gabriel, he maintains the contact and before he knows it... _he leaves._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I was originally going to end with another chapter, an epilogue, but I wrote it and I just couldn’t get it the way I wanted. Then I remembered how I originally intended for this to be a sort-of tragedy, and I decided I genuinely liked the two chapters just the way they were and would end it here. I just feel like Gabriel coming back for Dean, pretty much knowing he wouldn’t be able to get back, had the powerful finality I wanted instead of adding another chapter. Anyway, thank you so much for reading, and if you ever have any questions, feel free to ask me.


End file.
